im so pissed that they looked at a 50 y/o man today and was like “ok this is how we’ll model a man who’s 50 y/o in 2038” instead of looking at someone our age and going “holy fuck how are these bastards going to act at 50”
he wouldv been 600% hornier for androids if they did this right
just so everyone knows i DID get rheumatoid arthritis typing all this and i WILL die in 7 days, thank you and may god forgive me and @kassasaurus-rex
Use this series of tables to come up with random potions! You can use this as a DM to describe an unidentified magic potion that you give your players. As a player, you can use this when you create potions as a spellcaster or someone proficient in Alchemist’s Tools. Use this with the Alchemy Profession Guide!
Every potion has to be held in something! Roll on the following tables to generate a container for your potion including its material, shape, and its seal or stopper.
Roll on the following tables to create a random liquid! If you want your potion to be identifiable, try adding a telling ingredient to float in the potion. For instance, a Giant’s Strength potion can have a giant’s toe inside, while a Potion of Fly might have an angel’s feather within. A healing potion might have some medicinal herbs floating inside.
Potion Color
Potion Smell
Potion Taste
How it’s Made
Randomly describe how to create the potion. Roll twice or more on the Ingredients table. Then roll once for each ingredient beyond the first on the Alchemical Processes table to determine how each ingredient is added to the first ingredient. It might be mixed in a special way or treated in a unique way before it’s added.
I should note this is for D&D fluff and narration and is not based in science. Dissolving Aqua Fortis and Mercury in alcohol will not make a healing potion so do not drink it!
Ingredients
Alchemical Process
Potion Effects
There are many existing potions, but I feel like a lot of existing spells could be made into potions. So, I added some. I based them loosely on spell scrolls but tried to move the better ones to higher rarities because potions are objectively better than scrolls (anyone can drink a potion, only casters can use scrolls).
If you roll for a potion randomly as part of a treasure hoard, be sure it’s of an appropriate rarity for the players.
